The Cause & Origin of Insecurity

No matter who you are, what rank or status – we all deal with insecurities

After a fire is extinguished, firefighters and trained investigators shift focus to uncovering its cause and origin. A process that blends science, observation, and detective work.

We look for patterns and signs of damage to help pinpoint where the fire originated. We look at identifying the cause such as the ignition, how it accelerated, and timelines.

There’s another fire that burns in most all of us, no matter who you are, what rank or life status, it’s insecurity. Like fires, they can be small or significant depending on the ignition source in your life whether, past, present, or future. It’s there kindling, ready to ignite. The key is prevention and when ignited, how quickly we can contain and control them.

Overcoming insecurity is a journey of self-awareness, compassion, and gradual growth. It’s important we take the time to find the cause of origin to help prevent reignition or further spread fanned by dangerous thoughts that ignite in our mind.

Cause & Origin

Understand the Cause. Reflect on past experiences that may have shaped your self-doubt such as childhood criticism, social comparisons, or trauma. Identify your ignition points or triggers. Notice when and where insecurity develops such as at work, home, in relationships, or during social interactions.

Change Your Personal Tactical Frequency

Unable to copy, repeat… We often say this on our radio when we do not understand what is being said. Learn to “un-understand” or accept negative thoughts we transmit to our mind. We don’t have to copy or acknowledge them when we communicate them internally. They are garbled transmissions by negative communication which we don’t have to accept. Simple say to yourself, sorry “wrong frequency – this is not mine to accept.”

Examples “I always mess things up.” “No one cares what I have to say.” “I’m not good enough.” “No one likes me.” Only you know what ignites your insecurities.

When your mind hears this type of radio traffic, pause and say to yourself “unable to copy.” Don’t ask to repeat!

Give yourself a new tactical channel and ask yourself:

• Is this thought 100% true?
•         What evidence do I have for and against it?
•         Am I using extreme language (like always, never, everyone)?
•         What would I say to a friend who thought this?

This step helps you step outside the emotion and look at the thought objectively without taking it on. Reframe it into something more balanced and constructive such as I’ve made mistakes, but I’ve also learned and improved. Most people care deeply about me. I’m growing, and that’s enough. You’re not sugarcoating reality, you’re giving yourself a fairer, kinder and accurate progress report.

Compassion

Practice Self-Compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a patient on a medical run, a friend or loved one. Forgive yourself for past mistakes and celebrate small wins as every step counts.

Name the Incident

Like we name incidents, name the feeling, Don’t Become It. When insecurity arises, pause and name it. Naming creates space between you and the emotion. It’s a mindfulness move that shifts you from being the feeling to observing it.

Training

Train your mind by practicing self-compassion Instead of self-criticism. Try this short inner dialogue when you feel insecure. “This is a quick moment of struggle.” It will pass. “Struggle is part of being human.” Give yourself Grace. We all are human and we all make mistakes. “May I be kind to myself in this moment.” As firefighters most of us want to be perfect. Our occupation is a landmine with all types of competitive egos. You don’t have to participate as big egos are just loud insecurities in disguise.

Build Confidence Gradually

Set realistic goals and track your progress. Step outside your comfort zone in small ways – each success builds self-esteem.

Your Personal Mayday

Get yourself support. Spend time with people who uplift and affirm you. Distance yourself from toxic relationships that fuel self-doubt. Like continuing education, find a licensed qualified therapist, counselor or clinician or peer support. Get some personal continuing education for yourself. We go to the gym to be physically strong. Why would you skip mental therapy when you can be mentally strong too. What good is it if your body is in shape, but your mind is weak and broken?

“You can bench press your weight – but can you carry your thoughts?”

Sam DiGiovanna is a 40-year fire service veteran. He started with the Los Angeles County Fire Department, served as Fire Chief at the Monrovia Fire Department, and currently serves as Chief at the Verdugo Fire Academy in Glendale. He is Director at Large with the California State Firefighters Association, Associate Director for the California Training Officers Association and a consultant for www.Lexipol.com