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Why the firefighter instinct to control and contain doesn’t work on grief, burnout or shame – and what does
Some things aren’t meant to be handled. They’re meant to be held. Quietly. Carefully. Without solutions. Without shame.
Firefighters are trained to move toward what others run from. To control, contain, and stabilize. They bring order to chaos. They solve what most people couldn’t begin to face. But what happens when what you’re carrying can’t be fixed?
What happens when the call is over – but something inside you isn’t?
What Doesn’t Get Logged
I sat down with Chief Shawn Aymer of Tay Township to talk about the parts of the job that don’t get logged or reported. The weight that doesn’t show up in your bunker gear. The things you carry home in silence.
He told me the instinct to “walk it off” is fading, but it hasn’t disappeared. That peer check-ins are slowly replacing silence. But, more often than not, firefighters still carry things alone. Tucked into the quiet spaces between shifts and scenes.
He spoke about the invisible layering that happens when you wear more than one uniform: career firefighter, volunteer, paramedic, tradesperson, parent. And how each role expects you to be fine. Resilient. Ready. All the time. Even when you’re not.
Dogs and Decompressing
Chief Aylmer said Resilient Minds training has helped. But even picking up the phone to ask for support can feel like too much when you’re already running on empty.
Then he told me something that stuck with me, something about Dalmatians…..
Read (or listen) to the rest below from our premier content partners at CRACKYL Magazine!
