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We’ve seen them at work around station, in our personal lives and certainly in politics. They’re not just in the rank and file, one sided story tellers are in management as well. Sadly, the pathetically weak & insecure ones are like skilled politicians speaking out of both sides on their mouths to cover up their inequities and out of greed, guilt, fear, and manipulation.
The One-Sided Storyteller
Insecure people can often create one-sided stories, and there are psychological reasons behind this behavior. Often it happens out of Self-Protection. Insecurity often comes with a fragile sense of self-worth. By crafting a narrative that makes them look better or blameless, they protect their ego from further damage.
Fear of judgment. Insecure individuals may fear rejection or criticism, so they skew stories to gain sympathy, avoid accountability, or appear more favorable to others.
They often lack self-awareness. Insecurity can cloud self-reflection. They might not fully recognize their own role in a conflict or situation, genuinely believing their version is the whole truth.
They have a need for control. Creating a one-sided narrative gives a sense of control over how they’re perceived, which helps ease their internal anxiety.
The danger of a one-sided story lies in its ability to distort truth, reinforce stereotypes, and limit understanding. When only one perspective is shared—whether in media, education, or personal narratives—it can present a skewed version of reality, silencing other voices and experiences that are equally valid and necessary for a full understanding of a situation.
Here are some key dangers of one-sided stories:
Stereotyping and Prejudice. A single narrative often paints a group or individual with broad, oversimplified strokes, leading to harmful stereotypes.
Loss of Empathy. Without hearing multiple perspectives, it’s difficult to empathize with those whose stories are untold or misrepresented.
Misunderstanding Complex Issues. Complex social, political, or historical issues require a variety of viewpoints to be fully grasped. One-sided stories can oversimplify these issues.
They have a Power Imbalance. Those in power often control the dominant narrative, marginalizing already vulnerable voices and reinforcing systemic inequality.
False Sense of Truth. A one-sided story can feel complete but may be far from the truth. This illusion makes people less likely to question or investigate further.
So how do you handle someone who creates one-sided stories?
Stay Grounded in Facts. Stick to what actually happened. Use specific examples instead of opinions. This keeps the conversation based on reality rather than emotion or manipulation.
Example: “I remember it differently — here’s what I saw happen…”
Don’t Take the Bait. Insecure people may frame the story to provoke guilt or get validation. Try not to get emotionally pulled in. Keep your response calm and neutral.
Acknowledge Feelings Without Agreeing. You can validate how someone feels without endorsing their version of the story.
Example: “I can see you were really upset by that. I felt differently, though, and I’d like to explain why.”
Set Boundaries if Needed. If they consistently twist facts or play the victim, it’s okay to step back or limit discussions, especially if it affects your peace or credibility.
Ask Open-Ended Questions. Encourage reflection instead of confrontation. This can gently challenge their narrative.
What side are you on in your story – One or two?
Sam DiGiovanna is a 40-year fire service veteran. He started with the Los Angeles County Fire Department, served as Fire Chief at the Monrovia Fire Department, and currently serves as Chief at the Verdugo Fire Academy in Glendale. He is Director at Large with the California State Firefighters Association, Associate Director for the California Training Officers Association and a consultant for www.Lexipol.com